Jokes/pickuplines&quotes

Havoc

Retired SPA/HA
Retired SPA/HA
27 Sep 2014
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Denmark
So, an Indian, a Frenchman, and the Pope are all on a plane. The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" So the Pope lifts up his robe and says, "Shut up, stupid! You don't even speak English!" The Israeli asks the Japanese guy to open his eyes, but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting you crazy Jew, you're the one who sold me these cheap glasses!

What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good.
 

ineyy

Well-Known Member
EliteHunterz Clan Member
Retired SPA/HA
10 Aug 2012
544
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Anna put her hand in a glass of acid. What did she feel? Definitely not the bottom xD

Anna fell of a swing. Why? Because she has no hands!
Knock knock? Who's there? Definitely not Anna xD

Anna fell of a bike but didn't cry, why? Because the shift lever perforated her lung! xDDD
 

Havoc

Retired SPA/HA
Retired SPA/HA
27 Sep 2014
4'755
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Denmark
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Father's day, the most confusing day in the ghetto.

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? KFC isnt open on holidays.

What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas? My bike.

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood? The Blacks get car insurance.

Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones? Because they were still monkeys.

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? Jail break.

How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.

What's long, black and smelly? The unemployment line.

What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck? A good days hunting.

I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.
 

susano

Ex-Admin
Ex Admin
3 May 2015
310
39
28
Tanger, Morocco
I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door,outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,because the car was from the electricity company,they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again.
 

GAMERMANA

Well-Known Member
15 Jun 2017
130
5
18
21
Egypt
Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side was cut off?

He is all-right now
 

GAMERMANA

Well-Known Member
15 Jun 2017
130
5
18
21
Egypt
A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt and says
"A beer for me and one for the road"
 

Bazinga!

Well-Known Member
Donator
4 Mar 2017
134
18
18
45
Berlin
I would tell a joke about my dick, but it is too long.

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In a restaurant:
Guest to waiter: "What can you recommend?"
Waiter: "Another restaurant!"

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Joke in German:
Kommt ein Zyklop zum Auge-Arzt.
 
Last edited:

Lotus

Boomer
Staff member
Special Admin
Forum Moderator
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9 Jan 2016
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Canadia eh?
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
 

GAMERMANA

Well-Known Member
15 Jun 2017
130
5
18
21
Egypt
wanna hear a joke about sodium?
Na
wanna here a joke about sodium bromite?
Na Bro