Jokes/pickuplines&quotes

Discussion in 'Offtopic' started by KillerSK, 16 Oct 2015.

  1. Mafia

    Mafia Ex-Admin Ex Admin

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    Havoc, out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest..?
     
  2. Havoc

    Havoc Well-Known Member Staff Member Special Admin

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    Mafia today i saw something that reminded me of you, but don't worry, i flushed it away.
     
    GAMERMANA and Soph like this.
  3. Red

    Red Actually blue GoFree admin

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    You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast
     
  4. Proxyy

    Proxyy Well-Known Member Gameserver admin

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  5. Havoc

    Havoc Well-Known Member Staff Member Special Admin

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    So, an Indian, a Frenchman, and the Pope are all on a plane. The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" So the Pope lifts up his robe and says, "Shut up, stupid! You don't even speak English!" The Israeli asks the Japanese guy to open his eyes, but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting you crazy Jew, you're the one who sold me these cheap glasses!

    What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good.
     
  6. ineyy

    ineyy Well-Known Member EliteHunterz Clan Member Retired SPA/HA Gameserver admin

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    Anna put her hand in a glass of acid. What did she feel? Definitely not the bottom xD

    Anna fell of a swing. Why? Because she has no hands!
    Knock knock? Who's there? Definitely not Anna xD

    Anna fell of a bike but didn't cry, why? Because the shift lever perforated her lung! xDDD
     
  7. Havoc

    Havoc Well-Known Member Staff Member Special Admin

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    Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

    Father's day, the most confusing day in the ghetto.

    Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? KFC isnt open on holidays.

    What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas? My bike.

    How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood? The Blacks get car insurance.

    Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones? Because they were still monkeys.

    What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? Jail break.

    How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.

    What's long, black and smelly? The unemployment line.

    What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck? A good days hunting.

    I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.
     
  8. susano

    susano Ex-Admin Ex Admin

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    I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door,outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,because the car was from the electricity company,they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again.
     
  9. GAMERMANA

    GAMERMANA Well-Known Member

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    Did you hear about the guy who's whole left side was cut off?

    He is all-right now
     
  10. Havoc

    Havoc Well-Known Member Staff Member Special Admin

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    An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”
     
    Bazinga! likes this.
  11. GAMERMANA

    GAMERMANA Well-Known Member

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    A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt and says
    "A beer for me and one for the road"
     
  12. Bazinga!

    Bazinga! Well-Known Member Donator

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    I would tell a joke about my dick, but it is too long.

    ---------

    In a restaurant:
    Guest to waiter: "What can you recommend?"
    Waiter: "Another restaurant!"

    ------------

    Joke in German:
    Kommt ein Zyklop zum Auge-Arzt.
     
    Last edited: 5 Jul 2017
  13. Lotus

    Lotus Ex-Admin Ex Admin Donator

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    Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

    Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
     
  14. dPexx

    dPexx Well-Known Member GoFree admin

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    wanna play a game of sunbeds?

    you lie down & ill tan fuck out you
     
  15. GAMERMANA

    GAMERMANA Well-Known Member

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    wanna hear a joke about sodium?
    Na
    wanna here a joke about sodium bromite?
    Na Bro