Jokes/pickuplines"es
- Thread starter KillerSK
- Start date
Pickup lines:
Do you have home insurance? Because I want to smash your back doors in.
Are you sitting on the f5 key? Because I find your body refreshing.
Did you just fart? Because you just blew me away! (works every time)
Do you have home insurance? Because I want to smash your back doors in.
Are you sitting on the f5 key? Because I find your body refreshing.
Did you just fart? Because you just blew me away! (works every time)
What you need to say to pickup hardy.
• Hey, i got a joint.
• Hey softy, wanna get hardy?
• I'm available.
• Did you just fart, or do you always smell like that
• It's not gay unless the penises touch
• don't worry, i like it little and done doing foreplay.
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Failed my biology test today:
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Me: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Me: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Why is Facebook like Jail? "You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"
I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?
What did the Asian parents name their retarded baby.
Sum ting wong.
Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
The lesbians next door bought me a rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
Police Officer: "How high are you?"
Pothead(Hardy): "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
• Hey, i got a joint.
• Hey softy, wanna get hardy?
• I'm available.
• Did you just fart, or do you always smell like that
• It's not gay unless the penises touch
• don't worry, i like it little and done doing foreplay.
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Failed my biology test today:
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Me: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Me: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Why is Facebook like Jail? "You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"
I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?
What did the Asian parents name their retarded baby.
Sum ting wong.
Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
The lesbians next door bought me a rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
Police Officer: "How high are you?"
Pothead(Hardy): "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
klovn almost got it right.
however this is how it actually looks like when im getting pulled over by the cops.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc0sA2WsCgY
however this is how it actually looks like when im getting pulled over by the cops.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc0sA2WsCgY
im not a pickupline guy so im just going with a classic joke that always has put a smile on my face
ThirtyEight
ThirtyEight
If your right leg was Christmas, and your left Easter... then could I perhaps get to spend a little time in between the holidays?
Mafias penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner is ashamed of him.
Havoc you must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Now give me that damn cookie you were talking about, got me drooling all over the place..
Now give me that damn cookie you were talking about, got me drooling all over the place..